the dichotomy of independence
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Posted under: blogging about blogging, personal, Politics, social media issues, weddings
tumblers, by slightclutter
It feels as if this post is way overdue. On the other hand, it also feels to be entirely immature.
I’m going to cram a lot into this post, so for you ADD readers, here’s the short version:
- Update on Baby Kailey: she’s doing great!
- I moved in with my parents to help with the baby!
- I still have my place, so there will still be a Christmas Tree Viewing Party 3.0!
-
I quit my job!
- I’m freelancing! (yes, read above: i quit my job!)
- I’m really, really happy, excited, and scared as all hell!
- Wedding Bells
Whew. That wasn’t so hard? Now what took me so long to write this post? (Besides painstakingly searching for the exact right image. Which I will always obsess over.)
First things first. I’m doing GREAT. In the last 4 months I’ve made some of the biggest decisions of my life, and I couldn’t be more excited about everything. The recession be damned! I know it’s a very real thing, but I’ve decided to not participate in it. ;-)
Secondly, there is entirely no way I would have been able to make any of those decisions without the wonderful friends and family who have surrounded me with support and encouragement. I’d be about 2% of a person without you all.
Update on Baby Kailey + Home Again
Before I get into too much detail with my new career direction, I wanted to give an update on Baby Kailey. Many of you have asked about how she is doing, or who that cute baby is popping up on my Flickrstream. If you didn’t read my original post on Kailey, it’s here. Short version is…since November my parents have had custody of my cousin’s baby girl. She was 2 months old when she came to stay with us, she is now a healthy 7.5 month old. Mom has since started back at work, and I have moved in to help out with the day to day awesomeness of having a baby around. I swear, everyday I wonder how single mothers do this. There are 3, sometimes 4, adults in this house, and we are all exhausted! :-)
In February, after the awesomely successful Mom 2.0 Summit, I made the decision to move in with mom and dad to help out as mom started back at work. I was a little worried about leaving my place, but I found a friend who needed a place to stay for 6 months, and it just worked out perfect. I only had to move my clothes, and he lets me visit whenever I want. Thanks, Trae!
I made the decision so quickly, that I really didn’t have time to think about what a big transition this would be. Barring a few post-college months, I hadn’t lived with my parents since high school, nearly 12 years ago. In one day I went from being an independent, single, urban, museum district-highrise dweller, to a diaper changing, baby-talking, suburban daughter living in my parents house in Jersey Village. Head spin!
But every moment’s been worth it. I’ve been here nearly 6 weeks and I haven’t missed my apartment once. Due to an open invitation from Trae. :-) I’ll never forget what the wise Laura Mayes said to me when I was contemplating this decision: she said to me, “You’ll never regret spending this time with your family.” And that really stuck with me. And has continued to. What is 6 months in my life? A time to be there for my family, to spend time with my mom and dad, and most importantly to experience the first year of a child’s life. There really was no decision to make.
Independence Day
After a few weeks of being home, it started to occur to me what a financial benefit this was becoming. I had not intended on moving home for the sake of saving money, but it was certainly an ancillary benefit. I quickly came to the realization that the time was here and now for me to make another decision I had been struggling with for years.
Most of you know me in one capacity or another, and at one time most of you have asked the question, “So what is it you DO?” A question I’ve struggled with answering, usually with a chuckle. It usualy starts like this, “Well, my day job is _____, but I also do _______.” About 4 years ago I made a decision that my traditional (well-paid) Oil & Gas marketing career would never fulfill my career passions. I tried many companies, much to the dismay of my resume and friends’ skepticism. Over the last few years, I’ve reached out for ways to explore my creative passions in the form of PR, event planning, design, and most recently, social media. As a result, I’ve built up a network of amazing people, dream clients, and many, many new friends. It’s always been a means to an end, as I knew that one day I would make the jump from corporate employee to self-employed. And last Wednesday, that day came.
Yep, in the midst of an economic depression turned recession, on tax day nonetheless, I finished my last day at Halliburton. For 3 days now, I’ve officially been self-employed. And I can honestly say, I haven’t been this happy in a long time. And of course everyone says I will eventually say, why didn’t I do this a long time ago. But I disagree. This was the right time. I had to be ready. All the elements had to be ready. And this was the time.
I’ve have the amazing opportunity to work on some dream projects over the last few months. Starting with the Mom 2.0 Summit, where I met so many amazing folks. One in particular, author and wife of Houston’s Mayor, Andrea White. Since then, I’ve been working with Andrea, and with the Bill White for Texas Senate Campaign on social media strategies, and it’s been a wonderful experience.
COLABorate
So that brings me to my plans. The number one question I get these days is no longer “what do you do?” but rather, “so what ARE you gonna do?” And it seems like an easy one to answer. But it’s been difficult.
I’m not a graphic designer, a web developer, or a traditional public relations person. Both my undergraduate and graduate degrees are in Psychology. Go figure. And most of what I do relies on the collaboration of those within my network. I can take a decent picture, but I know a helluva lot of incredible photographers. I can open Photoshop and tell you what color looks good next to pink, but I am friends with some incredibly talented designers who can design circles around me. I can Google CSS lines of code, but call some of the best programmers around friends. Where I’ve found my strength lies is in the communication of an idea with a client. The development of a strategy. The execution of that strategy with a team of creatives. This is where I excel. Bringing my network of talented people together. And it’s taken me 10 years to figure that out. So here I am.
I’ll have much more details in the coming months of my newly formed company, COLAB, and about the projects I’ll be working on. For the sake of cohesion I’ve dubbed it “interactive creative services,” which includes PR, event coordination, graphic design, web design, and social media strategy. Website launched soon, and planning a networking event to officially announce the start of COLAB. I’ll post all the details here on my blog.
So here I am. Back in my parents house. In the suburbs. Eating my words. Remember “Midtown Monica”? I haven’t forgotten her. My new found independence, undoubtedly dependent on dependence of my family, who has never once wavered to help me get to where I want to be.
Wedding Bells
Hahahaha, GOTCHA! Knew THAT would get your attention. No, no, I’m not headed for the alter! Leading a double life for the past 4 years or so can really take it out of ya. So I’m also looking forward to getting back to some of the things that I so love, but haven’t had the time for. Like writing. I have a few projects I will be working on, that you will hearing more about soon, including more blogging and a few books I am working on. One book that is super imminent, A Single Girl’s Guide to Weddings. Why so? Well, as of today, I have 15 this year. Yep. FIFTEEN weddings. I’m in 4 of them. And 3 are out of the state. Not only do I have 15 weddings. I have 15 bridal showers. and 15 bachelorette parties. Couple’s showers. trips to Crate & Barrel. In all honesty, I LOVE weddings. No pun intended. I thought this would be a fun way to share my experiences and observations on love, dating, marriage, and (to borrow a phrase from MagsMac) the ultra important debate between taupe and off-white. I’ve attended 3 already this year, and have 3 chapters so far. Very excited to see where this goes.
I’m still blogging over at Houstonist, and on my design blog, Design Junky, which recently got a facelift, and of course here on Cosmopolitician. Will be blogging for a new fun blog, deets on that soon!
There’s More?!! Dang.
Thanks for lasting to the end of this post. I know it was a bit of a marathon, and I promise to be more brief in the future.
I can’t tell you how much all of your support, encouragement and confidence has meant to me. This community is my world and my backbone. I hope this doesn’t sound to Grammy acceptance speech, but there are a few people I REALLY must thank for helping me get to this point.
Maggie McDonald for your huge smile and constant determination, you inspire me;
Laura Mayes who’s infinite wisdom and grace pushed me to quit my job (so that she wouldn’t be alone in her self-employment!);
Ed Schipul for pretty much everything: every token of crazed wisdom, every vote of confidence, and every “what the eff are you waiting for” speech;
And last but the very UNleast, Mom and Dad, who never let me believe for a second that I could fail at anything. Even when I have. I love you, I love you, I love you (now what day does the maid come?) :-)
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What can I say, Monica? I'm just so happy for you and have incredible faith in your ability to succeed at whatever you put your mind to. I'm so proud of you. :)
thank you KSG! was so great seeing you tonight and catching up on your new adventures, too! 2009 is an awesome year already!
Girl, you rock! I thought you were self-employed when I met you–you had that vibe. So now you’re in tune with your vibe–LOL!
I love all your ideas; they’re not wild-eyed like those of many in your situation. Love the Colab company–that’s *awesome.*
Can’t wait to see how it all looks a year from now (bet it will be incredible).
thank you so much marie! you words mean so much!
Congratulations Monica! You are a true inspiration – I can't wait to see CoLab kicking butt in '09!
sarah, YOU inspire me! sew crafty is kicking major butt, lady!
Aww – thanks Monica! I hope you are enjoying your first few weeks of independence – viva self-employment!
Whoo hoo! I can't WAIT to see what wonderful things are ahead in your future. You're such an amazing woman, I know they will all be fabulous!
15 weddings. You're going to be at almost as many as I am — which amuses me to no end! But I don't have showers, parties, and everything else to go along with mine. (Thank goodness, because you're making me tired just thinking of them!)
yes, 15!!! want some of them?! ;-)
Congrats on making the professional move. You're going to take your inner rock star to another level. And the book!! Such a great, great idea. Even though I'm long past the wedding surge period of my life, I'd get a real kick out of reading your musings about the bells and bouquets, the gifts and the grub.
Very cool developments!
Monica Monica Monica! You Rock!!!
About damn time. And I mean that with love.
heh^2 loves youse.
If anyone can, you definily can!! Best of luck!
Emily
Congrats! Have fun, let me know if you need help!
thanks, dood! will do!
So proud for you. Wow!
I am so excited to see what comes next from and for you. Let's see, putting family high on the priority list, putting yourself high on the list,…. it doesn't get any better. You rock! Congrats to you and your family.
thank, you jonti! i have the best fam in the world, and there's nothing i can't do with them in my corner.
Glad that you finally were able to make that all important step. Looking forward to more collaboration.
Everything you do is magic. You will be amazing.
do you believe in magic? i do. and i believe in you.
Wow, what a great story! Congratulations on all of the new and exciting developments in your life and I look forward to hearing more great news :)
thank you, nelly! it's been so great to meet you over the last few months, coming to NYC soon and we can visit!
SO EXCITED FOR YOU MY LOVE! You make me happier every day.
Sweet! Now you can come visit me in the Woodlands for lunch. In all seriousness, I'm so proud of you for stepping up to help your family with Kailey AND for taking this leap towards your dreams. You are truly blessed with such a great family and you deserve all the success in the world. Go get it!
YAY GIRLZ!
Yey Monica! So excited to see everything unfold. I know everyone has said it already, but you are really amazing.
thank you, holly!!!
MONICA!! your 'ignorant' Aunt doesn't understand any of this stuff, however I was VERY moved by your dedication to your parents…I do remember when you were growing up, you always had a BOOK in your FACE!! I hated to read and was AMAZED at how you 'FED' off of it…it has paid-off…you have the WARMEST heart and are such an inspiration to the whole family!! Blessings, Aunt Carol
i love you i love you i love you! and you are NOT ignorant! you figured out how to post a comment! that's not easy! thanks for the kind words, im glad i make you proud. love you!
katya, thanks so much. this book is gonna be a blast to write. and thanks for the inspirational picture. it took me a year but i finally got it in a post! you are a true talent.
imelda imelda imelda! thank you thank you thank you!!
oh you know it, wettergreen.
natch, you are my heart.
Monica…this is from another AUNT, that comes from an earlier generation. We might not express how "you rock", and how you are "so amazing", and how you "kick butt", but we are happy to hear that you are taking time to get back to spending time w/ your family & helping with Kailey. In my opionion, you had a taste of one side of life, and now you are ready to get a taste of the other side of life – back to the traditional "home & family" atmosphere. I can see that this has been a BIG step for you. I admire how brave you are, to attempt this – whether it is temporary or longer. My wish for you is HAPPINESS, with whatever your future holds! Love, Aunt Berna
[...] celebration of her release from the corporate world (see what Monica’s up to in her post “the dichotomy of independence”) she called me up to get some head shots done. Most of the time I shy away from doing the typical [...]
[...] climate is terrifying. So here’s to three of the bravest women I know – Laura, Jenny & Monica, who recently decided to quit their jobs (yes in the middle of a recession) to pursue their dreams [...]
You're pretty much my hero. I admire every move you make (and not in the creepy Police way). You're amazing, and I will support every single endeavor you undertake! Go get 'em, tigress! The world is your oyster. Now eat it!
I know I am LATE to this post. But I just saw an old email in my inbox and jumped over. Just love your excitement for life!!! WOOHOO for all you are doing and spending this time with your family. Just beautiful. :)