I’ll make this short: #1 because I’m exhausted, and #2 the more I tell about it the more it makes me want to strangle 3 airport workers. (Is that gonna be pick up on some terrorist spider?) Kidding, kidding.

I check in to Schipol airport for my Bahrain flight, print out boarding pass. Easy enough. I’m getting good at this stuff. Go to counter to drop bag. Bag(s). With an “s”. I’m traveling for 2 weeks straight. An “s” at the end of “bag” would be expected. Si? Eh, not so much, says KLM. I’m allowed 20 kilos (about 40 lbs). That said, I’m a pretty light packer. Not one of those gals whose shoe to day ratio is 3 to 1. I’m practical. I have one medium sized bag for 2 weeks, plus a carry on. However, since I’m attending tradeshows, I have an extra bag with tradeshow stuff. Two bags. One person. About 40 kilos. 20 more than KLM allows. So, what’s a girl to do? I ask.

KLM baggage drop girl (<—official title): “Well, you can throw out 20 kilos.”

me (kinda laughing): “You want me to THROW AWAY 20 kilos of my stuff.”

KLMBDG: “Well, yes ma’am, unless you want to pay extra to send this bag through.”

me (not laughing anymore): “How much?”

KLMBDG: “It’s a lot.” <—-her ACTUAL answer.

me (growing impatient): “How much?”

KLMBDG: “A lot.” <—-still, her actual response.

me: blank stare

her: “400 Euro”

me: still blank stare. then a maniacal laugh. (thinking she doesn’t know what’s about to happen.)

me: “Well, YOU tell ME. If this was you, what would YOU do?”

Voices raise. I am pissed. Supervisor comes. I have no choice but to pay the nearly $600 dollars (go on, read that one again). Ok course i can’t do that from that window. It’s a differnt window, at the other end of the airport. AWESOME! Get to THAT window, my credit card don’t work. AWESOME! End up paying $600 of my own money. AWESOME. Rush to gate. Oh, what? No gate G34? After rushing to the end of the airport?! Oh, that’s my seat number?! I’m at gate A3? At the OTHER end of the airport? AWEEEEESOME!

Fun times, fun times.

Ok, I realize the next few paragraphs have nothing to do with anything above, or with each other for that matter. Cut me some slack. It’s a brain dump.

Could It Be?

No joke, standing at the gate in Amsterdam, ready to board for Bahrain. Overhead on airport loud speaker: “Will passenger Lil’ (im taking liberities with the spelling) Jon departing Amsterdam for flight 455 to Houston please report to the gate. You are holding up the plane and you bags will be pulled.” Could it be the Krunk Juice King? Would it be a stretch to believe he was in Amsterdam “Uhhnnn. What?!” Get low.

More reasons to hate KLM

This is a small thing, but when you’ve been ticked off all morning at traveling, those small things are the ones that getcha. Know how when you’re watching the inflight entertainment and the captain or flight attendant comes on the speaker to make an announcement? Well normally, the movie stops, and resumes when the announcement is over, right? Fair enough. Well, not so much at KLM Airlines. Not only does the movie NOT stop, the sound goes off, the FF and Rewind controls don’t work, so you are a watching a movie, not sound, while the announcement is repeats in 7 languages. So silly me, as soon as they finish, and it comes back on, I hit rewind. What happens? They come back on to repeat the announcement in Dutch. So i’m stuck watching the part i just watched without sound, now, at twice speed backwards. Awesome. I gave up and watched 30 Rock. And glad i did, because I was reminded by Mr. Tracy Jordon, to Kenneth the page, to “live every week….like it’s Shark Week!” Ah, what great advice.

What chew lookin’ at Willis?
Apparently, it’s perfectly normal to STARE at someone for over 30 seconds in foreign airports. WTF? If you think my new coat that I just bought in Amsterdam is hella cute, just SAY something. Don’t stare at me like I am an Alien. YES! A real life American. Go ahead, touch me. That will be 400 Euros.

Let’s look at the bright side: I REALLY like the way the girl in Perth waxed my eyebrows, and the cab driver in Bahrain was playing Timbaland when I got in. Score.

(p.s. Jenny, if you are reading this, I could have really used a Bloggess photoshopped KLM Sucks pic)

My last 4 hours have consisted of the following activities (in no particular order):

Check Twitter
Check Email (add this one in about 657 times)
Chat with Dad on Yahoo Messenger about Mom
Chat with Matt on Google Talk about Caroline Collective
Chat with Matt on new iPhone about Caroline Collective
Check Twitter
Check Twitter
Check stats on Cosmopolitician Blog
Post on funny bathroom sign
Check stats on Cosmopolitician Blog
Check Twitter
Check stats on Flickr (KOL pics still the most viewed by far)
Tried to figure out who Rana June is. Still didn’t really figure it out.
Check Twitter
Tried to figure out how much of Queen’s A Night at the Opera track list i could remember.
Cheated and Googled it.
Was pretty accurate.
Argued with my boss about Bicycle being on A Night at the Opera.
Learned that Bicycle is NOT on A Night at the Opera.
Sang all the lyrics from A Night at the Opera that i could remember.
Cheated again, and Googled it.
Had a solo karaoke session of A Night at the Opera.
Check Twitter
Did some research on Co-Working, anticipating Caroline Collective‘s opening.
Ate a bad piece of pizza.
Drank a Diet Coke. “Coca-Cola Light” in Europe.
Googled “Cosmopolitician” I’m all top 3, yay!
Caught up on Houstonist.
Checked to see what HappyKatie has been up to.
Read the latest TechBlog Posts
Talked with boss about where we are going to eat dinner.
Tried my hardest to remember the cab ride home last night.
Facebook messaged one of the guys Jill and I met in Amsterdam 3 years ago at the bar I went to last night.
Walked around to find out which booth has the best goodies.
Took a Zantac for my heartburn.
Decided to make a post on what i have done for the last 4 hours.
Did it.

Hopefully, I will have more thrilling posts in the future. I promise to try to be more exciting.

Killer, Queeeeeeeeeeeeeeen.

Case in point: The sign i noticed in my bathroom in my Amsterdam hotel room.

Really? really?

It’s cold and rainy today, and I almost got a hit an ride from a crazed bicyclist this morning. Yes, they are EVERYWHERE. But still in good spirits. We had an excellent dinner last night at a Steakhouse in Leidsplein, Rancho’s, and then hung at the Irish bar on the corner, the Rock n Roll out (where Jill and i met the Canadians years ago) and then to the Three Sisters Pub.

The show is slow today, and I’m getting sleepy. I’m looking forward to my day off on Thursday so I can run around town and hang out. I head to Bahrain on Friday to meet some co-workers for another show.

p.s. if you are keeping up with the bathroom disaster saga back home, they are supposed to be repainting this walls this week. we’ll see how THAT goes.

If you’re one of the tweople keeping up with my tweets, you know the hell I experienced on Friday night with a 5 hour delay at IAH. The plane was supposed to depart at 7pm. At about 6:30pm they told us there would be a delay. No reasons, just that there would be a delay.

At 8pm, they came back on, telling us that there would be another update at 9pm. Again, no reasoning, just that the next update would be at 9pm. At this point, I had been at the airport 4 hours, and people were getting unruly, which was not helped by the bitchy Continenal staff’s rude “updates.”

At 9pm they came on and informed us that there was a faulty engine and the part had just arrived, and we wouldn’t be departing until midnight. A fact, that if known at 7pm, i would have gone home and taken the next day flight. At this point they started offering food vouchers, um, what does $8 buy in an aiport? A newspaper? And not only that, it was only minutes before all the restaurants closed, when ensued in a mad dash to all the remaining opened restaurants. read: Pappasitos.

I chose to spend my $8 voucher wisely on 2 beers, in an effort to calm my temper. And as i sat, not more than 30 seconds, a yellow caution tape was thrown up around the 5 chairs I sat near. Disinterested airport worker: “Ma’am, this table is closed.” Me: “How do you close a table in an airport?!”

So I gather my 2 beers, 2 carry-ons and search for power. Of course not one of the outlets at IAH is anywhere NEAR a table or chair, so I plopped myself down on the floor, in the middle of the terminal, and charged up. At this point, just laughing at each new experrice like a maniacal traveler. Delirium set in, and as I talked to the 3 main M’s, i think they were all worried for my sanity. Maggie made me laugh, Mom was concerned that my loud comments concerning Continental was going to get me kicked out of the airport, and Matt did what he does best, make me feel normal even when I feel like a crazy person. Banana, banana, banana.

Around midnight, I made it on the plane, thankfully yo an entire row to myself. I spread out, and slept for the entire flight. BEST part of the night. :-)

Once I arrived in Amsterdam, I was still pretty exhausted, but happy to be as far away from IAH as I could be. After taking a spill down the escalator in the train station with FOUR rolling bags, and nearly getting caught in one of the steps (thought about you Rhonda!) the maniacal laughing returned and I had no choice but to make light of the situation. I arrived at the hotel, cracked open a Heineken from the mini-bar and took a deep breath. Hello, Holland!

I quickly showered and decided to make a night out of it. It was almost 6pm by the time I arrived, so i wanted to head out and get as much done before i had to officially start working on Monday. I headed to the hotel bar for another beer, before I made my way to Leidsplein. Here’s where the luck starts to turn.

At a bar I usually visit while in Amsterdam (i SWEAR it was the same bartender as 3 years ago), I started talking with a few guys at the bar. Two English guys, and 2 Dutch guys. We had a few drinks as I explained to them my last 24 hours. They all vowed to make sure my next 24 were drastically different. (Would it be poor taste to say at this point i felt like Natalie Hollway, I mean, the Dutch boys and all. Oh, kidding! Mom, don’t freak out.)

One of the guys was spinning that night at the infamous Grasshopper coffee shop and bar. They invited me to come and we were off. I wish I had some pics, but I stupidly left my camera in the room. I had 4 escorts for the night, and we ended up having a blast. Dancing all night, and into the morning. Ended back up at the hotel about 5am, with European house music still pumping in my head. Reminded me of the last time I was in Amsterdam with my sister, and we had a similar experience at the Paradiso with some Canadians and a Vin Diesel look alike. I’ll have to upload those pics here when i return home. good times, good times.

So there is the story of my last 48 hours. I sure hope the next are more like the later 24.

Headed out to dinner with some work peeps, some pics soon.

I arrived home Friday night to a super clean and floral apartment, and yes, the paint in the bathroom was all done. Thanks to Matt for taking care of all of that. Now, each time I leave, I check the shower nozzle. It’s created an OCD behavior. Great.

Sunday was February edition of Dr. Sketchy at Avant Garden Another wonderful turnout, a beautiful model, amazing sketchers, and a blast was had by all. Were you there? Upload your pics to the Flickr group and remember to tag with “houston sketchy” and “dr. sketchy”. Below are a few of my favs from the the Fabulous Fayza and Groovy Groovehouse. Hope you call can make it out in March. date coming soon, check the site for more details.

My next leg has been jumping back and forth, but looks like I’m headed to Amsterdam on Friday, then to Bahrain, finally returning on March 6th.

For now, back to resting up and rocking out. :-)

photos: groovehouse + fayza