Onward and upward (and sometimes sideways)
I’ve sat down to write this post at least a dozen times, not knowing how to start it or what to say. But my patient and encouraging Godsend of a boyfriend offered “just be honest and tell everyone what’s going on.” So here goes.
I ended 2011 on the highest of highs. My fitness and nutrition program was going great and I was excited to be encouraging other to take a new step into 2012. Things were going great…until they weren’t.
Towards the end of last year, I had a tooth infection. Sounds harmless right? Eh, I wish. I had a severe tooth infection, that required 2 surgeries. Easy right? Actually, that was the easy part. The infection was very painful, if you’ve ever had an abscess in your bone you know this is terrible pain. I was on pain medication for 2-3 weeks, and taking way too much of it to even touch the pain. Eventually, things got better, after 3 rounds of antibiotics, and all the fun side effects of those.
I thought I was in the clear.
The pain medication, and the amount I was using complicated my digestive system. And I got an infection. That wouldn’t go away. After 2 very painful procedures, 2 more rounds of antibiotics, I am recovering from that. Still waiting to see if I’ll need an additional surgery for that.
In the meantime, oh what, there’s more?, I’ve been having issues with my back. Joey and I were in an accident a few months ago and I’ve been having back issues ever since.
I’m not just listing all these things off to find sympathy. I know that there are many, many more terrible things in the world than a few health issues, and I’m fortunate that none of this is life threatening.
But it has been weighing on me (quite literally, at times), and it’s affecting me emotionally. I certainly can understand how chronically sick people can so easily get depressed. I feel like I fight off depression every day.
I’m not looking for sympathy. I wanted to write this post because I feel that through out these last few months, I’ve had this feeling of letting you down. I’m constantly thinking, “do people think I’ve given up? stopped working out? stopped eating well?”, and the answer is NO NO NO.
I’m plagued by the irony that the first time in my life I make a conscious decision to be healthy, my body doesn’t cooperate.
BUT, I’m trying to keep the faith. And I LOVE hearing your stories of how my progress has inspired you to start a program of your own. It literally keeps me going every day.
I’m trying my best to stick to some sort of healthy eating habits, although my digestive system issues have changed my diet a bit and I’m adjusting.
I was cleared to begin working out again this week, however I’m now dealing with more intense back issues this week, and hoping to get that diagnosed with an MRI next week. For now, I’m playing it safe and concentrating on my eating habits.
So, bottom line, I’m hanging in there, and I’m hoping to continue to blog about the recipes I am discovering, and my cooking adventures. My weight loss has slowed a bit, but as a friend reminded me today, slow and steady wins the race. Staying positive is number one priority right now.
I have to thank my awesome team for keeping me positive and anxiously waiting my return to JumpStart: Bella, Elana, and all the JS girls. Thanks for your encouraging texts and messages. Promise I’ll be back soon!
I hope you all are off to a better 2012 than me. :-)
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