Onward and upward (and sometimes sideways)
Posted under: 
Well, 2012 has been interesting. If you’re been wondering where I’ve been, or even if you haven’t, things have been complicated.
I’ve sat down to write this post at least a dozen times, not knowing how to start it or what to say. But my patient and encouraging Godsend of a boyfriend offered “just be honest and tell everyone what’s going on.” So here goes.
I ended 2011 on the highest of highs. My fitness and nutrition program was going great and I was excited to be encouraging other to take a new step into 2012. Things were going great…until they weren’t.
Towards the end of last year, I had a tooth infection. Sounds harmless right? Eh, I wish. I had a severe tooth infection, that required 2 surgeries. Easy right? Actually, that was the easy part. The infection was very painful, if you’ve ever had an abscess in your bone you know this is terrible pain. I was on pain medication for 2-3 weeks, and taking way too much of it to even touch the pain. Eventually, things got better, after 3 rounds of antibiotics, and all the fun side effects of those.
I thought I was in the clear.
I wish.
The pain medication, and the amount I was using complicated my digestive system. And I got an infection. That wouldn’t go away. After 2 very painful procedures, 2 more rounds of antibiotics, I am recovering from that. Still waiting to see if I’ll need an additional surgery for that.
In the meantime, oh what, there’s more?, I’ve been having issues with my back. Joey and I were in an accident a few months ago and I’ve been having back issues ever since.
I’m not just listing all these things off to find sympathy. I know that there are many, many more terrible things in the world than a few health issues, and I’m fortunate that none of this is life threatening.
But it has been weighing on me (quite literally, at times), and it’s affecting me emotionally. I certainly can understand how chronically sick people can so easily get depressed. I feel like I fight off depression every day.
I’m not looking for sympathy. I wanted to write this post because I feel that through out these last few months, I’ve had this feeling of letting you down. I’m constantly thinking, “do people think I’ve given up? stopped working out? stopped eating well?”, and the answer is NO NO NO.
I’m plagued by the irony that the first time in my life I make a conscious decision to be healthy, my body doesn’t cooperate.
BUT, I’m trying to keep the faith. And I LOVE hearing your stories of how my progress has inspired you to start a program of your own. It literally keeps me going every day.
I’m trying my best to stick to some sort of healthy eating habits, although my digestive system issues have changed my diet a bit and I’m adjusting.
I was cleared to begin working out again this week, however I’m now dealing with more intense back issues this week, and hoping to get that diagnosed with an MRI next week. For now, I’m playing it safe and concentrating on my eating habits.
So, bottom line, I’m hanging in there, and I’m hoping to continue to blog about the recipes I am discovering, and my cooking adventures. My weight loss has slowed a bit, but as a friend reminded me today, slow and steady wins the race. Staying positive is number one priority right now.
I have to thank my awesome team for keeping me positive and anxiously waiting my return to JumpStart: Bella, Elana, and all the JS girls. Thanks for your encouraging texts and messages. Promise I’ll be back soon!
I hope you all are off to a better 2012 than me. :-)
14 Comments + Add Comment
Got anything to say? Go ahead and leave a comment!
put a bird on it
Categories
You know, just Tumbln’
- thegoodolboy: Oh em gee. It’s one of Nels Cline’s guitars. Last...
- Because, yeah, it’s been TWENTY YEARS. thanks for the...
- Setlist for tonight’s @thecivilwars show (Taken with...
- fromme-toyou: The kettle can wait… This couple sells jewels...
- Panelists Lynn Wyatt, @chloedao, Luis Soto, Jay Marroquin after...
Hey There! Thanks for the post. You’re amazing. I know you’ll recover beautifully. Thinking of you and sending much love!
thanks, cori. appreciate the support. ;-)
Hugs <3 let me know if you need anything. I worked in spine for years and can give you a rec for a doctor if you need one.
thanks, girl! i might have to hit you up!
[...] Sorry for the delay in posting, it’s been an interesting few months. [...]
Yowza! Well now I know why it took me a second to recognize you at Jenni’s. You are SMALLER! You look great, and your enthusiasm didn’t give away anything you just described. Hope these inconveniences are almost over!
Girl I hear you – 2012 has had some yuck so far, but I think that it’s just getting all the bad out early so that we can enjoy the rest of the year. Godspeed, amazing woman!
Hang in there Monica. Just take it day by day and I know you’ll be out of the dark times soon enough. And never feel like you have to apologize about complaining (which you weren’t) here. This is your blog. People come here because they want to know what is going on with you (the good, the bad and the painful). Good luck!
Monica, so sorry to hear it’s been some rough going this year, but sounds like you can see the light at the end of this tunnel. Thanks for sharing the story…yeah, sometimes it is sideways, but that counts, too.
Like Paula Abdul warned, in life we often “…take two steps forward, and two steps back”. That’s okay. It’s life. We’re human.
In my practice, there is a term called Maitri (which means loving kindness toward yourself and others). Sounds simple, but it’s complicated and difficult in ways that don’t even make logical sense. But I think the world needs more Maitri. And I know that it starts from within. So give yourself permission to be less than perfect. Practice loving kindness toward yourself – but without the guilt, shame, or self-condemnation. There is no failure here. There is only opportunity. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.
My teacher says that “The life we’re most devoted to is the one we do not have”. The life that exists somewhere out there – when we’re thinner, richer, smarter, more accomplished…but the truth is – that “out there” doesn’t exist – there is only here and now. This moment. Then the next. And the next…and so on. And our job is to live each moment as it comes, to remember that we’re all in it together – and we’re doing the best we can.
I love you Lady!
Hugs,
-E
Very nice, Erica. The Art of Lovingkindness. :)
That’s a great thing to remember. We all need to be reminded to embrace where we are in the moment and do the best we can with it. Thanks, Erica :)
-Bella
amazing, thank you for sharing. you’re not alone. sending positive, healthy thoughts your way!
2012 has started out rough for you but you have determination and support to help get you through this rough time. I know personally and also by watching Matt deal with physical pain how it can really change your mood and your desires to do anything else. Sounds like you might be over the hump with your recovery. You are one of the strongest people I know and I’m sure you will be back to your program with your body is ready. Don’t push yourself too soon. Wishing you well, friend!